Anita (not her real name) was in awe of Rajiv (not his real name). He was dashing, manly, rode a smart bike, wore smart contemporary clothes and was very much at ease with the girls. Girls he had in plenty, vying for his attention. His attention on the other hand was mostly focused on his bike, weekend treks and mountaineering. Rajiv worked with me while Anita worked in another company in the same campus. Both of us were doing our internships. She with a company that is a major name in web searches. Me with a company that is a major name in making Servers.
Rajiv worked in the same department as I. He was a nice guy, who knew how to treat a college going girl…like a big brother. Anita badgered me to introduce her to Rajiv. I was scared. I regarded him like I would an elder brother and did not think it was respectful to be doing such a thing. But Anita was persistent. One day while we were having coffee at the Foodcourt, she came and sat down next to me. I introduced her to everyone at the table including Rajiv. I let out a sigh of relief. I did not have to do the intro now. During the course of the evening, Anita talked only to Rajiv getting monosyllabic replies. But she was undaunted. Pretty soon she had added him to her Orkut account. But Anita was just another pesky fly for Rajiv. He rarely replied to her scraps. He rarely replied to anyone’s scraps. When he was not working he was battling rock faces.
Sometimes I felt bad when I saw her waiting at the exit to catch a glimpse of him or get to talk to him. She looked like an eager kid waiting to catch a glimpse of Santa at the mall. I could not advice her as this was way over my head. I could not dissuade her, as her feelings were genuine. I could not encourage her as I felt that Rajiv was definitely not the guy for her, besides being way too older than her.
One day Anita managed to tell him how she felt. Rajiv looked at her affectionately and told her to concentrate on her studies and think of passing exams instead of nursing her crush. She was a little put down, but vowed to him that she would make him like her one day. Rajiv smiled that indulgent smile, reserved for kid sisters.
It’s been a year since I have seen or talked to Anita. I saw her yesterday when she walked into my office. She was joining the External Communications Team. In the afternoon we had lunch together. She had been seeing Rajiv off and on for some time she told me. However she stopped some time back. By now Rajiv is 28 years old. Way too old for her. Besides she realized that it was no fun trying to get the attention of a man, whose main interests in life were trekking, mountaineering, traveling and other outdoorsy activities.
I did not tell her that Rajiv had possibly done the most gallant and gentlemanly thing…by not leading her down the garden path…by being himself. He might be a vagabond, but he definitely was not a cad.
Rajiv is married now. To a quite homely gal. Someone who is willing to be just a wife. It is a match made in heaven.
And that led me to think, what makes so many girls attracted to such guys?
Thursday, November 12, 2009
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Typesetting
I was walking by this Mall today and there was this guy walking on the other side of the road, doing what most guys do when they see a girl i.e. stare. He was so busy staring that he walked into a lamp post. Straightening he kept walking glancing back with his jaws on the ground. Routine stuff with us girls. That got me thinking. “Poor guy. Nature has pumped him with some hormones to make him behave like that when he sees a gal.”
Suppose there was a sudden dip or evaporation of his hormone levels, would he feel embarrassed at all that he had done pre dip in hormones?
"WTF, err I mean what on earth! Why was I ogling at gals?"
Strip us off our hormones that makes us young males and females and what do we have? Some creatures that will look at each other and say,
"That human being with hair on his face is so weird no?
or
“That human being with no hair on the face is so annoying no?"
Look at the way Nature/God has created us. Each species is divided into Type A and Type B. Type A and Type B are equipped to produce more Type A and Type B so that all the species on Earth reproduce and keep the natural cycle going.
But in the case of humans, if a Type A goes with the Type B of another Type A it becomes adultery. Because he is supposed to stick with his Type B and vice versa.
In some cultures like ours, parent Type A and parent Type B decide which Type B should marry their Type A and vice versa. In some cultures, they allow Type A and Type B's to choose their types. In some cultures, Type B is kept under veils so that strange Type A's do not do what is programmed of them i.e. ogle at them and have natural thoughts.
In olden days, if a Type B even looked in the direction of a Type A not known to her, she would be labeled a charlatan for doing what Nature/God programmed her to do.
Then there are people who are aware of the Types inherent tendencies and make “literature” of things Type A’s and Type B’s naturally do in their bedrooms and make money or land in jail. On the other spectrum, we have "literature" like M&B’s that write about the excruciating emotional roller coasters and ego clashes some hunky Type’s and beautiful Type B’s ride, to finally say “Lets do the natural thing err I mean I love you”.
Then there are people, mostly Type A’s who want to do what is naturally expected of them with Type B’s and in absence of a Type B buy the services of a Type B who is looked upon by the society “types” for doing what is very natural.
The there are Type A's and Type B's who do not want just any other Type A or Type B. They want to be able to gel with them mentally too. This creates lots of problems as Nature/God did not take this into account. They i.e. Nature/God wanted to keep the species head count in a steady state thats all!!! But look what havoc the hormones are creating instead!!
The there is Type A's who like Type A's and vice versa. These people seem to be cocking a snook at Nature/God, but lets not go there now.
When you look at humans from this angle, so many things begin to look ridiculous no?
Sorry for neglecting this space folks. Life has become so hectic that I would outrun a Cheetah by a mile if the race was about the amount of work done per minute. But I am not complaining. The work is interesting!
Suppose there was a sudden dip or evaporation of his hormone levels, would he feel embarrassed at all that he had done pre dip in hormones?
"WTF, err I mean what on earth! Why was I ogling at gals?"
Strip us off our hormones that makes us young males and females and what do we have? Some creatures that will look at each other and say,
"That human being with hair on his face is so weird no?
or
“That human being with no hair on the face is so annoying no?"
Look at the way Nature/God has created us. Each species is divided into Type A and Type B. Type A and Type B are equipped to produce more Type A and Type B so that all the species on Earth reproduce and keep the natural cycle going.
But in the case of humans, if a Type A goes with the Type B of another Type A it becomes adultery. Because he is supposed to stick with his Type B and vice versa.
In some cultures like ours, parent Type A and parent Type B decide which Type B should marry their Type A and vice versa. In some cultures, they allow Type A and Type B's to choose their types. In some cultures, Type B is kept under veils so that strange Type A's do not do what is programmed of them i.e. ogle at them and have natural thoughts.
In olden days, if a Type B even looked in the direction of a Type A not known to her, she would be labeled a charlatan for doing what Nature/God programmed her to do.
Then there are people who are aware of the Types inherent tendencies and make “literature” of things Type A’s and Type B’s naturally do in their bedrooms and make money or land in jail. On the other spectrum, we have "literature" like M&B’s that write about the excruciating emotional roller coasters and ego clashes some hunky Type’s and beautiful Type B’s ride, to finally say “Lets do the natural thing err I mean I love you”.
Then there are people, mostly Type A’s who want to do what is naturally expected of them with Type B’s and in absence of a Type B buy the services of a Type B who is looked upon by the society “types” for doing what is very natural.
The there are Type A's and Type B's who do not want just any other Type A or Type B. They want to be able to gel with them mentally too. This creates lots of problems as Nature/God did not take this into account. They i.e. Nature/God wanted to keep the species head count in a steady state thats all!!! But look what havoc the hormones are creating instead!!
The there is Type A's who like Type A's and vice versa. These people seem to be cocking a snook at Nature/God, but lets not go there now.
When you look at humans from this angle, so many things begin to look ridiculous no?
Sorry for neglecting this space folks. Life has become so hectic that I would outrun a Cheetah by a mile if the race was about the amount of work done per minute. But I am not complaining. The work is interesting!
Sunday, October 18, 2009
Its reigning men!
I was watching this Malayalam movie the other day. It showed, Suresh Gopi barging into a women’s ashram and demanding to see an inmate. The heroine of the movie who is the caretaker or manager of the ashram refuses citing rules and regulations. A perfectly normal response. What happened next was disgusting. Suresh Gopi tells her to “Shut your bloody mouth” and walks away. I was shocked!!! Does the film maker realize that this is not a standard response of a gentleman in anger? Or as my friend pointed out, this was considered the smart response in Kerala to women who speak up!! How many people must have watched this movie? How many people would it have influenced and encouraged to behave in a similar fashion with ladies? I suspect many!
Another rerun I saw showed a father in law telling a son in law after he had slapped his wife, that only now he (Son-in-law) had become a man and worthy of respect. There are several movies that I have seen in which physical abuse against women is justified and considered necessary “to keep her in check.” Even the new movies follow the same trend. In a movie that was released some ago, Prithviraj slaps Roma and justifies it by saying that she will anyway be beaten after the wedding so she can deduct this slap from the ones she will get then. And he says it so affectionately. The message of all these movies is clear. Women are to be controlled. And a slap or beating is always shown as the chosen method of control.
Last week I was on the last flight out from Kochi to Bangalore. I was in the last row of this Indian Airlines (now Indian) flight. Two rows ahead of me was a Malayalee youth who looked like he was on the way to Bangalore for a holiday. After take off, he lit a cigarette. A stewardess in her thirties or so, asked him politely to stub out the cigarette. In front of my horrified eyes, he told her to eff off! The lady was taken aback. Clearly she had not been addressed this way before. White faced she went off to complain to the Pilot. The guy grinned and looked around smugly. The grin froze when he saw me. He looked away quickly. He was pulled up at Bangalore and mildly reprimanded, given a lecture in manners and let off!
I have not lived in Kerala. But I know the Malayalam language and hence when I see these movies, I spot these abnormalities quickly. What is surprising is that when I point this out to my friends from Kerala, they say that it is the norm and very much the mind set of the 100% literate State. And what’s worse, women lead the pack that espouses strict control over women. The method most often used to goad men who do not hit their wives or treat them with respect is to call them ‘henpecked”! Women are to be seen not heard is apparently the state motto, I am told. It is no wonder that Kerala has the fastest growing divorce rate in India today!
p.s before anyone asks me, by Kerala standards, my Dad is the most henpecked man from the State. Go figure! :p
Another rerun I saw showed a father in law telling a son in law after he had slapped his wife, that only now he (Son-in-law) had become a man and worthy of respect. There are several movies that I have seen in which physical abuse against women is justified and considered necessary “to keep her in check.” Even the new movies follow the same trend. In a movie that was released some ago, Prithviraj slaps Roma and justifies it by saying that she will anyway be beaten after the wedding so she can deduct this slap from the ones she will get then. And he says it so affectionately. The message of all these movies is clear. Women are to be controlled. And a slap or beating is always shown as the chosen method of control.
Last week I was on the last flight out from Kochi to Bangalore. I was in the last row of this Indian Airlines (now Indian) flight. Two rows ahead of me was a Malayalee youth who looked like he was on the way to Bangalore for a holiday. After take off, he lit a cigarette. A stewardess in her thirties or so, asked him politely to stub out the cigarette. In front of my horrified eyes, he told her to eff off! The lady was taken aback. Clearly she had not been addressed this way before. White faced she went off to complain to the Pilot. The guy grinned and looked around smugly. The grin froze when he saw me. He looked away quickly. He was pulled up at Bangalore and mildly reprimanded, given a lecture in manners and let off!
I have not lived in Kerala. But I know the Malayalam language and hence when I see these movies, I spot these abnormalities quickly. What is surprising is that when I point this out to my friends from Kerala, they say that it is the norm and very much the mind set of the 100% literate State. And what’s worse, women lead the pack that espouses strict control over women. The method most often used to goad men who do not hit their wives or treat them with respect is to call them ‘henpecked”! Women are to be seen not heard is apparently the state motto, I am told. It is no wonder that Kerala has the fastest growing divorce rate in India today!
p.s before anyone asks me, by Kerala standards, my Dad is the most henpecked man from the State. Go figure! :p
Saturday, October 17, 2009
I has the lazy.
see more Lolcats and funny pictures
A picture speaks a thousand words they say. So I will let the picture do the talking. Some people have the bloggers block. I has the lazy :(
Will post soon! :)
Music - Ajeeb daastan hai
Thursday, October 08, 2009
I am too sexy for your bombs...
India will not be intimidated by Kabul attack says Minister of State for External Affairs Mr. Tharoor
What would you do if you were intimidated Mr. Minister? Go after them?
Then please get intimidated Mr. Minister. Because I am intimidated by these events and more so by your nonchalance!
What would you do if you were intimidated Mr. Minister? Go after them?
Then please get intimidated Mr. Minister. Because I am intimidated by these events and more so by your nonchalance!
Monday, September 21, 2009
Holy cow err bison err nothing!
I guess we have all heard about the Shashi Tharoor Tweet incident by now. So I am not going to talk much about the tweet. However the incident gave me hours of fun and entertainment as people after people made laughing stock of themselves. From bloggers who jumped the gun without understanding the fine wordplay to politicians who conveniently forgot that puns, idioms and phrases exists in their language too, in their haste to grab any opportunity however ridiculous to bring down a man due to their inferiority complexes. Everyone involved in the verbal wrestle-o-mania must be rubbing their burning ears by now…or not.
If people had paused to think and reflect they would have realized that Tharoor used some clever puns in his reply and a literary nerd like him will make use of advanced English due to his proficiency in the same. If you are a simpleton who cannot distinguish between literal language and figurative language then the best possible solution is to JUST SHUT UP! Unless of course you think the general population are dimwits whom you can rile to some bile over a non issue.
Let us not get into the inappropriateness of the timing of the remark, or Tharoors naiveté, that’s been discussed to death and resurrection. Let us instead look at the whole drama and the fools who figured in it. A crucial player and the only non-fools in this brouhaha (I am not laughing at brewers, please do not sue me) was the electronic media. The media consists of journalists, whose core skill besides reporting, is a command over the English language. So what did our esteemed and educated journalist do in this situation? Educate the people about the meaning of such phrases? Of course not! That would make the issue a non issue and zilch news to air. So they add fuel to the fire with debates on the same lead by people who have no clue on the topic! Wonderful! What next? A discussion on marriage with a panel consisting of Nuns and Priests only? Or a debate on Valentines Day with panelists drawn from the Shive Sena, Al Qaeda and Ram Sene! That would lead to a very heated debate indeed! No, I do not mean a debate where the panelists sit on heaters please!
It was a relief to hear the voice of reason from the voters of Trivandrum. While they dismissed the tweet as a non issue, they asked pertinent questions about Tharoor’s work record as an MP. That I feel is the mood of the nation today. Inflating non issues, personal attacks, moral policing and rabble rousing does not impress anyone anymore. People want the right to live as they want and they want to know what the people they voted to power are doing!
Like it or lump it, the people of Trivandrum have voted Tharoor to power. Running him down is not going to work. He is here to stay till his electorate decides to give him the boot. It is high time some quarters accepted that!
If people had paused to think and reflect they would have realized that Tharoor used some clever puns in his reply and a literary nerd like him will make use of advanced English due to his proficiency in the same. If you are a simpleton who cannot distinguish between literal language and figurative language then the best possible solution is to JUST SHUT UP! Unless of course you think the general population are dimwits whom you can rile to some bile over a non issue.
Let us not get into the inappropriateness of the timing of the remark, or Tharoors naiveté, that’s been discussed to death and resurrection. Let us instead look at the whole drama and the fools who figured in it. A crucial player and the only non-fools in this brouhaha (I am not laughing at brewers, please do not sue me) was the electronic media. The media consists of journalists, whose core skill besides reporting, is a command over the English language. So what did our esteemed and educated journalist do in this situation? Educate the people about the meaning of such phrases? Of course not! That would make the issue a non issue and zilch news to air. So they add fuel to the fire with debates on the same lead by people who have no clue on the topic! Wonderful! What next? A discussion on marriage with a panel consisting of Nuns and Priests only? Or a debate on Valentines Day with panelists drawn from the Shive Sena, Al Qaeda and Ram Sene! That would lead to a very heated debate indeed! No, I do not mean a debate where the panelists sit on heaters please!
It was a relief to hear the voice of reason from the voters of Trivandrum. While they dismissed the tweet as a non issue, they asked pertinent questions about Tharoor’s work record as an MP. That I feel is the mood of the nation today. Inflating non issues, personal attacks, moral policing and rabble rousing does not impress anyone anymore. People want the right to live as they want and they want to know what the people they voted to power are doing!
Like it or lump it, the people of Trivandrum have voted Tharoor to power. Running him down is not going to work. He is here to stay till his electorate decides to give him the boot. It is high time some quarters accepted that!
Saturday, September 12, 2009
Corporate hostages
A not-so-senior colleague of mine was recently selected to a Japanese MNC after several rounds of tests and interviews. After successfully clearing the same she had to submit details of previous employers as part of the pre employment reference check. Imagine her surprise and horror when the new employer withdrew their employment offer, because her previous manager gave her a really poor rating in the referral. This gal is known to me and I remember her as one of those people who are mostly seen hard at work with very short tea/coffee breaks.
So what was her fault for getting such a bad reference from her previous manager? That she dared to look for a change after four years in the same company, a better pay packet and a promotion to manager!
Recently a very senior colleague of mine, who had joined a small company so that she could take a break from a hectic job that involved 75% travel and concentrate on her daughter's studies, got the shock of her life when she resigned. Her H.R Manager, after failing to convince her to stay back accused her of giving false employment details (without proof) and humiliated this woman with an enviable track record, before letting her go.
These are not isolated incidents. I hear of such incidents on a weekly basis. Managers and employers getting back at employees who leave, by giving them bad referrals to their new employers. I know of several people who have not joined their new jobs because they are afraid of losing the offer when their background verification report comes in with insidious remarks from previous manager/employer. It doesn’t matter how well you work, if you leave, they screw up your career!
Today millions of employees across India are being held hostage by superiors who have the power to make or break their careers. This creates for a work culture where sycophancy and obsequiousness is the only way you can ensure that you have a trouble free transitions from one job to another.
I think it is time that we had more reasonable employment process, where a company does not have to rely on the word of a prospective employee’s previous employers to hire him or her. It is time companies developed a hiring process that satisfies their queries about the suitability of a prospective employee in a fairer manner.
So what was her fault for getting such a bad reference from her previous manager? That she dared to look for a change after four years in the same company, a better pay packet and a promotion to manager!
Recently a very senior colleague of mine, who had joined a small company so that she could take a break from a hectic job that involved 75% travel and concentrate on her daughter's studies, got the shock of her life when she resigned. Her H.R Manager, after failing to convince her to stay back accused her of giving false employment details (without proof) and humiliated this woman with an enviable track record, before letting her go.
These are not isolated incidents. I hear of such incidents on a weekly basis. Managers and employers getting back at employees who leave, by giving them bad referrals to their new employers. I know of several people who have not joined their new jobs because they are afraid of losing the offer when their background verification report comes in with insidious remarks from previous manager/employer. It doesn’t matter how well you work, if you leave, they screw up your career!
Today millions of employees across India are being held hostage by superiors who have the power to make or break their careers. This creates for a work culture where sycophancy and obsequiousness is the only way you can ensure that you have a trouble free transitions from one job to another.
I think it is time that we had more reasonable employment process, where a company does not have to rely on the word of a prospective employee’s previous employers to hire him or her. It is time companies developed a hiring process that satisfies their queries about the suitability of a prospective employee in a fairer manner.
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